


A Less Complicated World

by rechecorp



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Feelings, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24916804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rechecorp/pseuds/rechecorp
Summary: Kara misses her best friend, so she visits the VR world to get a much needed hug.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 11
Kudos: 201





	A Less Complicated World

**Author's Note:**

> Short story that I wrote because it was something I wanted to read! This it usually how it goes. I miss supercorp, y'all. Anyways, there's mentions of grief as I warned in the tags. Also touching because it's my thing. I have lots of ideas but inspitation is an elusive kitty, so we'll see when we'll see each other again. Love to all and supercorp endgame.

She stared at the book for far longer than she would like to admit, longer than she cared to notice. She’d finish reading it a while ago and, after getting to the end, had re-read the dog-eared pages, which were a lot. The book, it sat in the coffee table next to her mug, mocking. Tantalizing.

It _had_ been weird, Lena giving it to her. After she had walked away, Kara had sat there looking at the door with a mix of confusion and guilt and a prickling feeling in her chest she couldn’t point her finger to. She didn’t know if she could trust the person she had once considered the most important in her life after her sister, and that fact stung. At the same time, the sincerity in Lena’s eyes had made her feel like she should have said something more. But what was there left to say? Her pride wouldn’t let her open up, not again. But mostly, grief had left her emotionally drained. If she had stood up and walked around the furniture that separated them… no. Her mind didn’t let her go there.

Sighing, Kara stared at her computer screen, tearing her gaze away from the offending pages and trying to finish her research. But despite her attempts at concentrating, her mind was working overdrive. Being in the same room as Lena without fighting for the first time in a long time had brought to the forefront of her mind memories she had been trying to suppress. They weren’t exactly real memories, were they? They were glimpses to an alternate reality, something that hadn’t been actually real. But after living through crisis, the lines of reality had been blurred.

Maybe there had been an Earth, similar to the one she found herself in now, where Lena and her had actually worked together side by side. Partners, as Alex had put it once. The image of Lena sitting in court, refusing to reveal her identity to the world, had engrained in her mind despite her efforts of thinking about literally _anything_ else. She couldn’t help but wish to turn back time and do things differently despite knowing it would always end badly.

Looking away, her gaze landed on her purse and her heart started beating faster. It’d be imprudent, she knew. She’d seen what it could do to people, Alex had told her how much it affected her, but… she’s tired of being rational. She needed a break, and she needed her friend, even if for a little while, even if it’s an illusion. She needed to see a world where Lena didn’t think about making her feel better one second and ambushed her to call her a hypocrite the next.

Setting her laptop on the coffee table and standing up, Kara took the VR lenses and stared at them for a moment. She wanted to be selfish, it would be harmless to just go in and get what she wanted, nobody had to know. Just a hug, she told herself. She wanted Lena to look at her and smile, just like old times. She moved towards the couch and sat there again. After taking a deep, fortifying breath, she swoop her fingers in front of her eyes, and she was in.

There was an array of possibilities in front of her, a reality where she was just human, a reality where she was still on Krypton, one where she was a singer, another a scientist, a mother, a dog walker, and… the one she wanted. Suddenly, she found herself on the sidewalk in front of L Corp. It was terrifying, how real it all looked. She could feel the winter wind blowing on her cheeks, could smell coffee from the bar on the corner, and tuning her ears, she could hear Lena talking on one of the top floors. She found herself suddenly nervous, her heart almost beating against her ears. She felt silly, this wasn’t real, and Lena wouldn’t reject her upon sight. 

Still, before venturing inside the revolving doors, she took flight, surveying the city from the sky. There weren’t any emergencies that she could spot; she supposed virtual reality wasn’t as chaotic as the real world. She didn’t bother putting on her suit; it wasn’t like she could be outed in here. She didn’t know why she was stalling instead of getting what she had come in here for, but she still didn’t feel strong enough to face Lena, so she headed towards her apartment, getting in through the window.

It looked very much like her real apartment, except for some different furniture, like her dining table and some extra bookcases. She approached them to look at the picture frames, the one with her sister the exact same from the real world. With a sharp intake of breath, she picked up one were Lena and her were hugging, Kara had her arms around Lena’s shoulders, her friend was smiling so wide her eyes shone, and their cheeks were pressed together. She felt a pang on her chest, guilt mixing in with longing. How she wished she could take this picture back with her, or worse, make it real. Maybe using this was a mistake, but she couldn’t back down now. She was scared of what she would feel when she saw Lena if only a picture could get a reaction like this from her.

But a feeling stronger than fear was beating inside of her, one she wouldn’t ignore, not this time. She had lost her world and her planet; had lost her family, her adoptive father, and her time line. For once, she wanted to be selfish, it seemed like her feelings towards Lena evoked that from her, a recklessness she wouldn’t dare act up on for anything or anyone else. Hell, she had stolen for Lena just to make her feel better. But this wasn’t for Lena, this was for herself. Something _she_ needed to feel better.

Maybe she was a coward for using a virtual reality instead of facing her problems in the real world, but dammit, she was tired of being perfect, of always doing the right thing. No one had to know, and no one would get hurt.

She flew out the window and hovered just outside of Lena’s office. She could see her inside, sitting at her desk and reading some papers. As if sensing her, Lena turned around, a smile broke on her face at the sight of Kara and Kara felt like she could cry right then and there. It had been too long since the last time they’d smiled at each other, and tears were truly forming behind her eyes.

Lena stood up, walking outside her balcony, her gaze never leaving Kara, who approached her without even realizing until they were almost face to face. Her feet touched the ground and Lena’s arms were around her waist in a heartbeat. Her warmth was too real, she even smelled the same, and Kara truly feared for her sanity. She squeezed her tight, as carefully as ever, turning her head to smell her hair and daring to stoke a hand on the back of her head, silky hair running through her fingers. She swallowed the lump on her throat, inhaling deeply and allowing herself to smile. She had gone too long without this, and it was just what she needed, really she didn’t know how she had gone through everything that had happened without Lena’s warmth between her arms.

“Hey, I was waiting for you.” Lena said softy almost into her ear.

“You were?” Kara whispered, still not letting go.

“Of course, it’s been a long day.” Lena pressed her palm between her shoulder blades. “I can’t wait to head home, we can even have some pizza.”

“Pizza?” Kara put a little space between them, still keeping her hands on Lena’s forearms. “You want us to eat pizza?”

“Yes, don’t look at me like that.” Lena grinned. “It’s not like it’s the first time I make this concessions on your behalf.” She bopped her nose. She actually did that.

Kara stared at her, trying not to let her jaw drop to the floor. She wasn’t expecting this… autonomy. She didn’t know what she thought she would find in this world, really. Maybe a version of Lena that was unmoving, waiting like an automaton for a command from her, like “hug me”. It was what she had come in here for, after all. Just a hug from an entity that had her best friend’s face. She didn’t except it to feel so real, or for this virtual Lena to have feelings like tiredness or hunger, to be waiting for her and being so happy to see her.

“Let me grab my coat and we can go to your place.” Lena turned around and headed inside, leaving Kara to stare at her retreating form.

Just a little while wouldn’t hurt, right? Was virtual pizza a real thing she could actually eat? She really missed her best friend, even if she was unwilling to admit it in the real world. Admit that she may have been too harsh, that she had been selfish in wanting to keep Lena in the dark just so she could _keep her_. Her own mistakes had led Lena to resent supergirl, in turn leaving her with the choice of telling her the truth and losing her as a friend, or being selfish and lying to her to be by her side. It was too late now to have regrets, and this moment was supposed to be a break from all that tormented her in reality. So yes, she could stay for an hour or two and eat virtual pizza with her best friend like nothing had changed.

“Take me home?” Lena was next to her again, extending her arms like she was asking to be picked up.

Kara wrapped an arm around her back and another one behind her knees, pressing Lena against her chest and taking off. Her friend pressed her face against her collarbone, her warm hands cupping the back of her neck. They crossed the city through the sky and into her apartment, and Lena took her heels off with a sigh as soon as she was put down.

“I’ve wanted to get off this skirt for _hours_.” She groaned, walking behind the curtain separating Kara’s bed from the rest of the apartment and already pulling the zipper down as she went.

Dumbfounded, Kara watched her leave feeling a blush covering her face. She stood there, confused as to why Lena was stripping from her clothes on her apartment like it was her own, and even more confused as she walked back with sweatpants and Kara’s National City University jersey like she kept clothes on Kara’s home. She understood virtual reality less and less as the minutes went by.

“We should eat on the couch.” Lena stated, sitting down. Kara realized the pizza box was already waiting for them on the coffee table.

“Sure.” She nodded, sitting down with a reasonable distance between them.

Lena was looking at her with an amused expression, but said nothing as she opened the lid and took a slice. It smelled too good and looked too real, and Kara had never had a will as strong as to turn pizza down. She took a bite and suppressed the obscene moan that threatened to get out. Damn it was a good, it tasted just like the one back at Midvale, the first pizza she had ever tasted upon arriving on Earth.

After almost inhaling two slices on a row, she leaned back against the couch and stared at Lena. Every detail about her face, the moles on her neck, the line of her jaw, it was all too real. And she looked carefree, her brow smooth like she hadn’t frowned in years, her jaw relaxed but marked as she chewed, her eyes shining as she looked towards her. Kara couldn’t remember the last time they were like this together, happy, like nothing was wrong. The warmth of her eyes was something she didn’t realize she missed so much until she found it directed at her again. Did Lena always looked at her like that, or was it just the simulation?

“I missed you.” She found herself saying. A burning blush covered her cheeks, even though she knew this wasn’t real. Lena smiled warmly at her and wiped her hands on a napkin before scooting closer.

“You’re sweet, babe.” Lena took her hand between both her own. “I missed you, too.”

Kara’s heart did a somersault inside her chest. _Babe?_ Lena’s hands were soft and warm; was it the first time she felt them against her own? Lena rested her head on her shoulder as she sat petrified. Her hair smelled so good, just like she remembered, and her mind reeled as Lena played with her fingers.

This was wrong, she shouldn’t be doing this at all, and yet she found herself turning to press her cheek against the side of Lena’s head and using her other hand to stroke her silky black hair. She didn’t know if the lump in her throat was tears or vomit. She should end the simulation, but she couldn’t stop her hand on Lena’s hair or her eyes from closing from the way they were cuddling. It had been too many months since the last time they did this, and she wanted to be selfish. No one had to know, no one was getting hurt except herself. She couldn’t have this in real life, not again, not like this. She didn’t even know how much she wanted it, at least consciously, because of course her mind was conjuring up all this.

She remembered staring at Lena’s photograph and wishing things could be different. She thought she wanted them to go back to the way they used to be, but this wasn’t exactly it. This was too… _intimate_. Lena had definitely never called her babe, had never played with her fingers and stroked her arm. She felt goosebumps all the way to her scalp.

“Was the pizza good?” Lena raised her head from her shoulder to look at her with the softest eyes.

“Yeah.” Kara nodded lightly, too lost in their close proximity. The specks of gold in her best friend’s eyes shone brighter than ever.

“I thought you could use some comfort food.” Lena smiled, looking at her through her eyelashes. “You look sad.”

“I just… wish things were different.” She found herself saying.

“Nothing will change unless you fight for change.”

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do that.” Kara whispered, looking down. Lena’s hand was suddenly cupping her cheek, her thumb moving up and down.

“Of course you are, love. Tell me, what do you want?”

Kara leaned against Lena’s hand, looking up to meet her eyes again. What _did_ she want? For them to go back to the way they used to be? It was too late for that, and besides, there were too many lies between them before. They had to move forward, but how? Lena seemed different when she approached her with the book. She cared about her, thought about her enough to reach out and try to help with her grieving. Maybe she had moved past hating her. Kara had already forgiven her for everything she had done to her in the name of retribution, even if she wasn’t ready to admit it to Lena yet. But then again, Lena was still angry at her, if their last interaction was anything to go by.

“I don’t want any more lies between us.” She stated.

“Then be honest with me.” Lena reasoned.

How could she be honest with Lena if she couldn’t be honest with herself first? She hadn’t realized how much their friendship meant to her until she thought she could lose it. She had tried to come clean so many times, but fear got in the way every time. Her heart had broken when Lena had screamed and cried, and she had stood there, thinking she deserved it as her friend walked away. She had been a coward before; she couldn’t be one now if she wanted Lena back in her life. Every attempt at moving on had been futile; confronting Lena, trying to convince herself that she had gone too far into the other side of goodness, even… going on a date to try and stop thinking about her.

 _Boy_ had she been blind to her own feelings. People don’t go on dates to forget their platonic friends, do they? Her fallout with Lena had felt too much like when Mon El had left Earth and left her alone. She didn’t want to be Kara Danvers anymore, back then. But then Lena had lost her trust in supergirl, and Kara wanted nothing more than to be _just_ Kara Danvers, just so she could keep her.

She stared at virtual Lena in front of her like a revelation. She was smiling softly, stroking her face, looking at her like she was reading her mind.

“I’ve been so blind.” Kara chuckled self-deprecatingly, moving her hand up to cover Lena’s. “All this time, I… I’ve been…” Tears were spilling down her cheeks before she could realize they were forming, and Lena was kneeling next to her and wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

It was overwhelming, the nature of her feelings blasting inside her chest and this person in front of her, whom she loved, but wasn’t actually real. She didn’t know if the real Lena felt the same, she couldn’t even be sure she didn’t hate her. Lena had reached out, and it gave her hope that at least their friendship could be mended, even if they were still angry and frustrated at each other. She wanted Lena back in her life in whatever shape she could get her, she just didn’t realize until now how strong her longing was. She had lost too many things, her family, her world, twice, her reality, her adoptive father, she couldn’t lose anything else. She couldn't lose Lena before she even really had her, if that was even a possibility. The full force of her grief hit her while wrapped up in Lena’s arms, and even though she knew she wasn’t the real Lena, she allowed herself to pretend, at least for a while.

They ended up lying on the couch together, her head on Lena’s chest as she stroked her hair and comforted her. She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried like this, with her whole body wrecking with sobs and her chest heaving. She didn’t realize how much she needed that, and how infinitely better it felt to do it wrapped in her best friend's arms.

She fell asleep without even realizing, and Lena was still rubbing her hand along her back gently when she opened her eyes. She couldn’t stay in here forever, she knew that; the lines between what was real and what wasn’t were easily blurred.

“I should go.” She sighed, burrowing herself closer to Lena’s body instead of pulling away.

“I’m happy you came.”

“Yeah.” Kara let out a long breath, sitting up and rubbing her tired, swollen eyes.

Lena stood from the couch and extended her hand to help her to her feet, pulling her up like she weighted nothing. They didn’t let go of their hands, and she looked up to find her friend looking at her expectantly.

“It’s hard to leave when I know I won’t get any of this out there.” Kara whispered.

“You can always come back.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I have to do things right by us in the real world. I –we, deserve that.”

“Then maybe, after all it’s settled, this won’t be so far-fetched.” Lena looked down at their hands, pulling Kara closer. “Don’t you think?”

“I’m not sure.” Kara breathed out, her free hand moving to Lena’s waist on its own volition. “I shouldn’t…” She trailed off, eyes lowering to her friends lips.

“Why not?” Lena whispered. “You won’t come back. No one has to know.”

“I’ll know.” Kara licked her lips, swallowing her heart beating madly inside her throat.

“Aren’t you tired of always doing the right thing?”

Kara nodded, moving her hand to cup the side of Lena’s neck. Sighing, she let her lips press against Lena’s cheek, right by the corner of her mouth. Her forehead dropped against Lena’s shoulder.

“If it ever happens, I want it to be real.” She breathed in Lena’s scent deeply. “End simulation.”

xx

She opened her eyes to the sun still filtering through the curtains. She was in the same room, on the same couch, but alone. Had she really spent the afternoon crying in the virtual version of her best friend’s arms and realizing she was maybe possible in love with her? Her eyes felt tired even if she hadn’t _actually_ been crying. The experience had been emotionally draining after she thought she had nothing left to feel.

Rubbing at her eyes, she stood up, closing her laptop and walking to place her cup in the sink. Curiously, she felt the need to order pizza. But before she could get to her phone, there was a knock on the door. She walked towards it without much thought, still feeling odd at being on the same place in a virtual reality just a few minutes ago. She pulled the door open and swore her heart stopped beating.

Lena.

She was here, for real this time. She could tell because her lips were pulled down, she was nervously wringing her fingers and her eyes looked the saddest she had ever seen them. She still looked as beautiful as ever, she couldn’t help noticing even if she was supposed to be angry with her; she was supposed to be distrustful. What else was she supposed to do?

Silently, she let her in.


End file.
